Part 2 — The Envelope
I held the envelope in both hands, afraid that if I opened it, the last piece of my daughter I still had would somehow disappear.
My grandson was still down by the parking lot.
The woman noticed me looking toward him.
“We don’t have much time,” she whispered.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Elena.”
She looked at my daughter’s grave.
“I was your daughter’s closest friend.”
I stared at her.
“Then why have I never heard of you?”
“Because your daughter asked me not to tell you.”
Those words hurt more than I expected.
“My daughter never mentioned you.”
“I know.”
Elena looked down at the envelope.
“She was afraid you would hate her.”
“Hate her?”
“For what happened.”
I almost laughed, but there was nothing funny about any of it.
“My daughter died giving birth to her child. I raised that child for ten years. Whatever she thought I might hate her for, she was wrong.”
Elena swallowed hard.
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
She took a slow breath.
“The father wasn’t a stranger.”
My heart stopped.
“What?”
“He knew about the baby.”
I felt the world tilt beneath me.
“You told me nobody knew.”
“I never said that.”
“You let me believe my daughter had been abandoned.”
Elena’s eyes filled with tears.
“She wasn’t abandoned.”
“Then where was he?”
She looked toward the path where my grandson would soon return.
“He was closer than you think.”
I stared at her.
“Is he alive?”
“Yes.”
The single word seemed to echo through the cemetery.
“Where is he?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because your daughter made me promise.”
I held up the envelope.
“Then why bring me this?”
“Because the promise had a condition.”
“What condition?”
Elena looked directly into my eyes.
“She told me to give you this when your grandson turned ten.”
My fingers tightened around the envelope.
“He turned ten three months ago.”
“I know.”
“Why wait until today?”
“Because today is your daughter’s birthday.”
I looked down at the grave.
For ten years, I had come here on this day carrying flowers.
Now I was standing beside her grave holding a letter she had written before she died.
My grandson came running toward us.
“Grandma!”
I quickly slipped the envelope into my coat.
He stopped when he saw Elena.
“Who is she?”
I looked at Elena.
She gave me a small, sad smile.
“A friend of your mother’s.”
My grandson’s expression changed.
“You knew my mom?”
“Yes.”
He stepped closer.
“Did she ever talk about my dad?”
Elena looked at me.
Then at him.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
My grandson froze.
“What did she say?”
Elena’s lips trembled.
“She loved him.”
He looked at me.
I didn’t know what to say.
For ten years, I had told him I didn’t know whether his father had ever cared.
Now, for the first time, someone had given him a different answer.
“Where is he?” my grandson asked.
Elena looked away.
“I think your grandmother should read the letter first.”
My grandson nodded reluctantly.
On the drive home, neither of us spoke much.
The envelope seemed to burn against my coat.
After dinner, I waited until my grandson went upstairs.
Then I sat alone at the kitchen table.
I placed the envelope in front of me.
My daughter’s handwriting stared back at me.
I opened it carefully.
Inside was a single folded sheet of paper.
Mom,
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone.
I wish more than anything that I could sit beside you and tell you everything myself.
I’m sorry.
I know those two words aren’t enough.
You will probably wonder why I never told you his name.
The truth is, I wanted to.
But I was scared.
Not of him.
Of what would happen if you knew.
His name is Daniel.
I stopped reading.
Daniel.
After ten years, the mystery finally had a name.
I continued.
Daniel and I met when we were seventeen.
We were young and stupid and believed that loving each other was enough to make the world simple.
It wasn’t.
When I found out I was pregnant, Daniel wanted to marry me.
I refused.
Not because I didn’t love him.
Because I did.
His family had already decided what my pregnancy meant. They blamed me. They threatened to send him away. They told me that if I tried to contact him, they would make sure he never saw his son.
I thought I could protect him by making him stay away.
I was wrong.
Mom, Daniel never left me willingly.
He wrote to me.
He called.
He came to the hospital.
I told him not to come into the delivery room because I was afraid you would see him and everything would come out.
He was there when I gave birth.
He was there when I died.
My hands began to shake.
I stopped reading for a moment.
My daughter had never been alone.
All these years, I had imagined her dying surrounded by strangers.
But someone had been there.
Her child’s father.
I continued.
If you hate him, I understand.