And somehow, they looked familiar in another way too.
I couldn’t understand why.
“Walter.”
“Anna. I’m sorry to appear like this out of nowhere. My wife, Carol… she passed away a few weeks ago. Before she died, she asked me to find you.”
Something shifted across Anna’s face.
Recognition.
Sorrow.
And a tired kind of understanding.
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I think I know why.”
She stepped aside.
“Come in, Walter. You’d better sit down.”
Anna poured two cups of coffee, her hands trembling slightly.
“What did Carol want me to know?”
She sat across from me.
“That I never turned you down because you moved.”
My chest went cold.
“Then why?”
“Your mother came to my apartment. Spring of 1985. She wore that gray coat with the fur collar. Do you remember it?”
“I remember.”
“She sat on my sofa and told me I was unsuitable. Wrong background. Wrong family. Wrong future for her son.”
I carefully placed my mug on the table because my hand had started shaking.
“My mom said that?”
“She said more than that.”
“What did she threaten you with?”
“She threatened to get Dad fired when my parents were already barely surviving. My sister was about to marry a good man, and Ruth threatened to destroy her reputation.”
“She couldn’t have done that.”
Anna held my gaze.
“Couldn’t she?”
I had no answer.
Everyone in Millfield listened to Ruth.
“My mother,” I whispered. “My mother taught Sunday school.”
“Your mother had power,” Anna said softly. “And she used it on a twenty-year-old girl whose family had nothing.”
“So the letter you sent me—the one saying you couldn’t handle the distance…”
“I wrote it that night. I cried the whole way through it.”
I stared down at the coffee between my hands.
“What happened afterward? Did you marry?”
Anna shook her head.
“No.”
“Children?”
“No. There was never anyone else I could imagine that life with.”
Forty years suddenly felt much longer.
For all that time, I’d believed Anna simply hadn’t loved me enough.
“Why didn’t you come to me? Even after you left?”
Anna lowered her eyes to her hands.
“I found out I was pregnant three weeks later.”
I stared at her.
“What?”
“I was pregnant, Walter.”
The room seemed to shift beneath me.
A child.
Mine and Anna’s.
For forty years, I’d believed I’d lost only her.
“You were carrying MY CHILD?”
“Yes.”
“What happened to the baby?”
Anna turned away.
“I gave her up.”
“Why?”
“I was twenty, alone, and terrified. Your mother had convinced me you didn’t want me anymore. She said the baby would have a better life with a family who could give her what I couldn’t.”
“And you believed her?”
“I didn’t think I had another choice.”
My chest tightened.
“Where is she now?”
“I don’t know.”
I thought that was the revelation that would change everything.
I didn’t realize Anna had barely begun.
“You never tried to tell me?”
“I tried. I went to your mother’s house. I thought the baby might make her accept us and help me reach you.”
“What happened?”
“Ruth wouldn’t give me your number. She reminded me what would happen to my family if I contacted you.”
“That’s why you disappeared?”
“That—and what she told me next.”
“What?”
“That you’d already moved on.”
“With who?”
“Carol.”
I stared at her.
“You knew about Carol?”
“Only what Ruth told me.”
“That we’d already started something?”
Anna nodded.
“She said you’d chosen Carol before I’d even left town.”
“But that wasn’t true.”
“I know that now.”
Then Anna hesitated.
“There’s more.”
My stomach tightened.
“What?”
“Carol was there that day.”
“At my mother’s house?”
“Yes. She’d stopped by with a casserole. Ruth thought she’d already left, but she was still in the parlor.”
I couldn’t move.
“Carol heard what my mother said to you?”
“Every word.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she told me. About fifteen years ago, she tracked me down through my sister and sent me a letter. I never answered.”
My throat tightened.
“So she knew why you left.”
“Yes.”
“And all those years, she watched me believe you’d walked away because you didn’t want me.”
Anna looked down.
“I’m sorry.”
“She said nothing… and then she married me.”
“I’ve wondered for forty years whether she ever told you.”
“She didn’t.”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak.
“I’m not telling you to hate her,” Anna whispered. “I’m telling you because your wife sent you here, and I think she wanted you to finally know.”
I looked at her.
“Anna, did you ever try to find our daughter?”
“Of course I thought about it.”
“But did you look?”
“I couldn’t. It was a private adoption. I didn’t know the family’s name, where they lived—anything.”
And suddenly, something clicked into place.
“My mother arranged it.”
Anna frowned.
“What?”
“If anyone kept records, she did.”
I pushed myself away from the table.
“I think I know where to look.”
I stood so quickly the chair scraped across the floor.