“When am I getting a baby?”
So when my husband, Daniel, and I finally told him I was pregnant, Ben was so excited that he screamed loudly enough for our neighbor to come check on us.
When Brenda was born, however, things became more complicated than we had expected. Doctors explained that she had Down syndrome and began discussing specialists, tests, therapies, and the additional support she might need. Daniel and I were overwhelmed by how much information we suddenly had to process.
Ben wasn’t overwhelmed at all.
The first time he held his little sister, he studied her tiny face for several seconds.
Then he looked at me and said,
“She’s perfect.”
From that moment, Brenda became “his baby.”
Ben helped choose her clothes. He sang to her whenever she cried. He proudly showed her picture to teachers, neighbors, cashiers, and practically anyone willing to look.
For the first two weeks, I thought he was adjusting better than any seven-year-old possibly could.
Then he stopped sleeping in his bedroom.
One morning, I walked into Brenda’s nursery and discovered Ben curled underneath her crib with his pillow, blanket, and stuffed dinosaur.
I almost laughed.
“Ben, what are you doing?”
He blinked up at me.
“Sleeping.”
“You have an actual bed in your room.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you sleeping here?”
He shrugged.
“I like it here.”
I assumed it was sweet.
He had waited years for a sister, and now he wanted to stay close to her.
My mother-in-law, Diane, saw things differently.
She had been staying with us since Brenda came home, helping with meals, laundry, and housework.
When she saw Ben underneath the crib, she frowned.
“You shouldn’t encourage this.”
“I’m not. I keep sending him back to his room.”
“Then you need to be firmer.”
She glanced toward Brenda.
“He needs to understand that the baby isn’t the center of the universe.”
I rolled my eyes.
“He’s excited about having a sister.”
“Or jealous.”
That annoyed me.
“Ben adores Brenda.”
Diane insisted children could love a sibling while still resenting how much attention a newborn received.
I dismissed her explanation.
But the following morning, Ben was beneath Brenda’s crib again.
Then again the next day.
Every morning, I returned his pillow and blanket to his bedroom.
Every night, somehow, he came back.
By the fourth morning, Daniel and I realized this wasn’t simply a funny phase.
Daniel even tried bribing him.
“If you sleep in your own bed all week, we’ll get pizza Friday.”
Ben shook his head.
“I don’t want pizza.”
Daniel stared at him.
“You always want pizza.”
“Not that much.”
That was when I began wondering what we were missing.
Then I noticed something else.
Whenever Diane volunteered to stay alone with Brenda, Ben suddenly appeared.
If I went upstairs to shower, I would return to find him sitting beside the crib.
If Daniel and I stepped outside for a few minutes, Ben refused to come with us.
One afternoon, Diane reached toward Brenda.
Ben immediately stepped between them.
“Move, sweetheart,” Diane said.
“No.”
“Ben!”
I was embarrassed by his behavior.
“Move.”
He looked at me before reluctantly stepping aside.
Later, I asked him what was happening.
“Did Grandma upset you?”
“No.”
“Then why are you acting differently around her?”
“I’m not.”
That became his answer whenever I questioned him.
Nothing happened.
He was fine.
Meanwhile, Diane had started making comments about Brenda.
They weren’t openly unkind, but something about them bothered me.
One morning, she found me exhausted with Brenda sleeping against my chest.