“Where are you going?” Paula asked.
“I need some air.”
“You need to come back and talk to me.”
“I have nothing more to say.”
“You have plenty to say. You just did not plan to say it to me.”
He left through the back door. The house became quiet except for the receiver still in my apron pocket, its small light showing through the fabric.
Paula sat there with both hands around a glass of water.
“Why did you not tell me he was saying these things?” she asked.
“I wanted to believe you knew.”
“I did not know about the money.”
“I know.”
“And you have been listening to us for three weeks?”
“Yes.”
She looked hurt. She had every right to be.
“I am sorry,” I said. “I was afraid that if I asked you, you would defend him before you knew what I was asking.”
“I might have.”
“I know.”
For a while, neither of us spoke. Then Paula reached over and took the receiver from my apron pocket.
“You kept this under your pillow?”
“Yes.”
She looked at the little plastic box and then placed it face down on the table.
“I hate that you felt you had to do this,” she said.
“So do I.”
She did not tell me everything would be fine. I was grateful for that. She said she would not ask me to sign anything, and she would not let Dale make decisions about my room without speaking to me directly. She also said that he and I could not continue living as though the money and the conversation had never happened.
Colleen apologized once more before she left. I accepted it, though accepting an apology did not erase the years of silence between us. Paula walked her to the door and then came back to sit with me until Dale returned.
He did return, but he did not come back to the table. He took his things from the kitchen and went to another part of the house. Paula did not follow him. That night, for the first time since I moved into the den, she closed my door gently before she went to bed.
I never played the recording again. Paula had heard enough, and I had too. The papers stayed on the table until she put them away without my signature.
I still live in the converted den. I no longer listen through the monitor, and I no longer pretend that the room, the money or my place in that house were temporary simply because Dale said so.
